What happens when bullies become adults?

By Devyne Lloyd
Staff writer

Everyone knows someone who has been affected by bullying during grade school. Most discussion about bullying revolves around the victim. However, there is another victim in this situation: the bullies themselves. While we encourage and nurture the bullied, we often ignore the bully, which can lead to them falling through the cracks.

Many people think bullies are dim-witted, large and over-aggressive, such as Helga from Hey Arnold! and Roger from Doug. In reality, most bullies are intelligent, popular and highly charismatic. They also may show traits of anger, aggression, hyperactivity and violence, according to Education.com, a privately funded site.

Just as victims might grow up to have issues later in life, bullies can also encounter issues. According to Utterly Global, an organization dedicated to anti bullying, children who were bullies in grades six to nine are 60 percent more likely to have a criminal conviction by the age of 24. A bully is also five times more likely than a victim to have a serious criminal record in adulthood. Even bullies who grow up to work in an office instead of entering the judicial system cause problems for others. According to the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health, workplace bullying causes $3 billion in lost productivity and a staggering $19 billion loss in employment every year.

Matt DeLisi, sociologist and head of the Iowa State University criminal justice program, writes in an article for the for the ISU sociology department that as bullies age, they are more likely to engage in antisocial behavior. According to DeLisi, adults who were bullies as children are 10 times more likely to lie, six times more likely to fight and almost three times as likely to engage in harassment than adults who were not bullies. “Bullies are 11 times more likely to have had conduct disorder than non-bullies. That giant fact shows you that bullies are antisocial anyway. When you get into personality disorders, you’ll see that in anti-social personalities there is almost an eight times difference,” wrote DeLisi.

The bullies themselves are victims, too, and need help just like the children they bully. “Because bullies are so aggressive, they are viewed by peers to be so difficult to deal with, so they are rejected,” writes DeLisi. Many bullies experience some type of abuse at home, and bullying others is simply a coping mechanism. Counseling can be provided as an avenue for bullies to talk about their feelings. Bullying may be a growing problem, but we can stop it by treating all victims: the bullied and the bullies.

52 Responses to What happens when bullies become adults?

  1. catherine says:

    I was subjected to years of torment by bullies from 11 years of age until I left school. When I started work I had no confidence or self esteem, which is why I still seemed to attract bullying from others from time to time. I was wrong to assume that bullying ends when you leave school. I have absolutely no sympathy for anyone who is a bully,& if bad things happen to them in life, good! what goes around should always come around.

    • sylvia ann jenkins says:

      my mother was a bully, and I was bullied t school, because I was thin, then I was billied at work, because my work collegues wnnted to bully some one, so my message is, if you are bullied, don’t let them get away with it, because you will continue to be bullied as you will seek them out

      • robert says:

        Damn dude your mom was a bully? that sucks. im sorry

      • Anne says:

        I was bullied in middle and high school and interested in people who have seen their bullies as adults. Some of their bullies have apologized while other people have said that their bully is the same person they were when they were younger. I don’t understand why bullies harm others except they have more anger and hurt that isn’t being dealt with. I’m surprised that bullies also are more likely to commit crimes. Bullies should really think how about their actions affect others and get counseling to deal with their issues. The toughest part of being bullied is that you still remember their words and how you felt. I hope I can receive an apology from a couple of my former bullies and an explanation of why they bullied me.

    • Chisom Ololo says:

      Maybe if your bullies grow up, they’ll manage to change.

    • Sandra says:

      I remember when I was in the 3rd grade I was bullied by this girl named Hortencia. She was mean to the bone. When I went to another school, she saw me. She stepped on my foot. I know it was her. I saw her smiling from ear to ear. I have seen that same look on my mother who is a bully. All my life she has belittled me and called me names.

  2. Anna says:

    I agree. I do not feel anything for a bully. I was all but tortured by a certain girl who targeted me. Not only did she lie, cheat and take from me she also threatened me constantly. The failure came with the schools not doing anything about her. Never addressing it and thinking it was normal to have bullies in the mist. Because of this she never had a chance to change. Her parents would have stuck by her no matter what anyway, as their baby could do no wrong.

    She ended up with a good job and nice family and lost it all because of her bullying. She also ended up in prison as an adult for assault with a deadly weapon. All because she could not get her way one day. I agree some bullies are abused at home but she wasn’t. She was spoiled and felt entitled. Then the walls came crumbling down and I can’t say I felt bad for her. It just wasn’t that big of a surprise.

    So I’m glad that bullying is being addressed today as it ruins lives. Maybe we can start punishing bullies so that they learn it is a harmful action and that they cause discord. Then and only then do they need to be “understood”.

  3. Hanna says:

    I was bullied by this seemingly really cool and beautiful girl and her entourage of gossipers and ratty girls. I now work as a director of a company with 8 digits assets, which I own half of it, at the same time currently the most sought jewellery’ designer who makes 6 digits yearly. Not surprised I am now more successful than them, I always knew the popular bullies picked me up to justify their insecurities. I feel extremely happy to know that the popular kind girls grew up to be just house mothers with zero working experiences, and the popular bullies queen bee grew up to be an unknown music DJ who does no DJ but just playing pre-recording and twiddling with volume buttons only for 10 years with minimal gigs a year (with a face which I feel not as beautiful- eye bags, skinny, evident of drugs use). Whilst the ratty entourage somehow ended up with bad career choices and own nothing. I shamefully admit laughing-everytime I think of them struggling to make a living while I enjoy my career, life, devoted husband and my diamonds. I love the fact facebook existed because I can see how ugly and unhappy they grew up to be. I seriously do not need to gloat and show off with photos uploads just because I can not truly stop looking down at them.

    • Judith says:

      I was bullied in school, but I never thought that growing up and making a lot of money would somehow put someone in their place. Thinking that having money or prestige makes one better is often the excuse bullies use against their victims.
      When others use petty, superficial reasons to bully us, using petty and superficial reasons to say you are now better says to me that rather than learn and grow from the suffering, a person can just become as damaged as those who caused the suffering.

  4. […] Lloyd, D. (2012). What Happens When Bullies Become Adults. Retrieved from http://news.jrn.msu.edu/bullying/2012/04/01/bullies-as-adults/ […]

  5. Katherine Daley says:

    I finally decided, after nearly 50 years, to look up my bullies from elementary school on the internet. These were boys who were the ringleaders of a group of boys who threw rocks at me as I walked to the bus stop when I was six, who would form a ring around me and pass me from one to the other with a punch or a kick, who once pulled off my boots and forced me to walk through cactus and then walk home barefoot, who repeatedly chased me on motorcycles when I was on a horse. One is a highly successful corporate lawyer, one works for the Department of the Interior, one is an art dealer, those were the ones with a distinctive last name. The other two were brothers, and their last name was more common, so I could not find them, but I wonder, if I met them at a party, or contacted them on Linkedin, would they even know my name? Would they even remember?

    • Natasha says:

      I just left a comment and then read yours, I relate too your story 100% except mine happened in about 10 different schools. I was trying too also get across that it’s not the same stereo type bully as it used to be, now it’s the popular pretty teachers pet that’s usually at the root.
      anyway your story gives me hope, unlike you I went completely the other way from my bullying and developed several mental problems (depression, anxiety, social phobia)
      And i am still battling them all because of being bullied. I guess i have severe paranoia because I’m always worried I look terrible or im doing/saying the wrong thing, everything i do i worry about and it’s all because of bullying.
      what I’m trying to say is if you went through it and have ended up this successful there must be some hope for me. 🙂

    • Old white guy says:

      Bullied in junior high school, I eventually got over it thanks to a healthy family life.

      Decades later, I looked for the four guys responsible. Surprisingly, it appears they’re all deceased, having passed in their 50’s and early 60’s. I hope they had a chance to get it right before they died. They were the malicious, sneering kind that would likely have had relational difficulties.

      In real life, the only real joy is in healthy relationships and shared life experience, things a bully cannot know.

      I’ve wondered, what in their lives might have provoked that kind of behavior?

      We hope for better in ourselves and others, of course.

  6. […] school are 60% more likely to have a criminal conviction by age 24 than their counterparts, per an article printed by Michigan State University. Overall, they’re also five-times more likely to have […]

  7. sue says:

    Dear Devyne, i was wondering what becomes of bullies when they grow up. Evidently, many don’t. Can’t say i’m overly surprised…worldlings are going to be worldlings ;/ Thanks for posting this article.

  8. Nick says:

    I need help as an adult being bullied by family members it has caused mental health issues with me because of the way I am abused is there any help as police said they can’t do anything without proof that a crime has been committed. I’ve been tormented for my whole life and don’t know who to turn to or even trust with this issue I’m trying to start a new life but can’t because family are still bullying me what should I do

    • Chisom Ololo says:

      You can….not bring them over to your house for special occasions or meet your kids. Either way, it should work for you.

  9. Aandelen Kopen says:

    I dont think this is the same for everyone. Many bullies become friendly people and when they realise how it feels to be bullied themselves, and it happens to almost everyone, they will learn how to think.

  10. natasha says:

    At least the people who are bullied are not the cause of the bullys problems and you are justifying bullying because they have problems ‘too’ ….. The bullied wouldn’t have problems if they hadn’t been bullied!
    I moved my whole life, 14 different schools roughly, 4 different countries, and as a result of this i was bullied at every single school i went too because i was never given a chance too make friends or fit In, my nickbame was the same at almost every single school ‘New girl’ that was the name I had from day one, also ‘girrie’ in Spain because I was pretty, blonde and English and the spanish girls hated this, i got spat on regularly,
    Then there was ‘Pomme’ in Australia and wouldn’t you know one of there favorite things to do is take the piss out of the English, but in all these schools in all these countries there was one common denominator. . The prettiest popular girl… she has control over the ‘pretty popular girls’ which in turn have control over the ‘pretty popular boys’ which means if shes threatened or dosnt like you in any way, your effed, and boys are always interested in new girls so if you havnt been there from the start or arnt friends with somone, shes going to feel threatened and then your going to get bullied. Fact.
    other wise they are doing it too look good if the other person looks strange or something they make themselfs feel better by pointing something nasty out but also then make the others scared to cross her or they in turn then get treated like the others and bullied.
    It’s a terrible thing, as a result I am 25 years old and I have depression, severe anxiety, social phobia, no self esteem, always doubting myself, so scared for my children when they go to school i already have my son in taekwando and hes 5, the list goes on, everyday life is hard for me.
    bullying is something that cripples people’s life’s, it needs too stop now.

    • Ahmed Al-Ali says:

      Dear Natasha,

      Iam sorry to hear about your experience with bullies.

      It must be very tough to go through, Iam currently conducting research on bullies and their affects upon society.

      We are trying to write a book to help parents to observe behaviors that may signal characteristics of bullies in children.

      I hope its possible we could discuss further.

      Thanks and regards


    • Marguerite Nocera says:

      It is not a growing problem. It has been around for generations. The fact is people are only now starting to look at it. I just wanted to set that straight.

  11. […] It is easy to dismiss them, avoid them, and let them fall through the cracks, as this article from “The New Bullying” indicates. [6] This may be because bullies tend to come from homes where they are not taught well […]

  12. Marion says:

    In the past, I was bullied in subtle ways by so called friends. Not all, but a certain one would bitch about me and use me. I can’t even remember why I ended up in a “girl group” in the first place, as I am introverted and just a quiet girl. Anyway, on turning 19, I met my first boyfriend and left the “group” only to be laughed at and put down by them. It made me feel worthless as a human being and I’ve somewhat struggled with this ever since. Not so much that I haven’t been able to get on with my life, which I have.

    Since then, I’ve encountered the odd bully, and most recently I was bullied by neighbours. It all started, because I was introduced to one of the neighbour’s brother and after realising he was a piece of “beep” I told the sister (big mistake) and then realised I shouldn’t be associating with these people. I started to ignore all of them, but the grandma was the bully of them all. Who would have thought a 50 year old would be so cruel? Well she didn’t take being ignored lightly and she started manipulating other neighbours. I was then being harassed. The Police could do nothing about it without evidence sadly, so I left my home and moved away before it got any worse. The women that started the manipulation constantly moaned about work colleagues and not getting the job she wanted etc. From what I gathered from her was that she was the type of person who has to be in control. Hence why, when I started ignoring her, it hurt her ego more than anything and she had to gain control back in the only way she knew how. Manipulation and Bullying.

  13. Cloe Lynn says:

    This is interesting. I remember the cliques in 5th grade and betraying a friend to be in a club. I never forgot it and never felt good about it. It was out of character for me and I felt ashamed. I think many of us have done or said things to peers that were manipulative or hurtful.

    I was also picked on over the years. The biggest impact came from a cute boy in middle school who I had a crush on. I was 6th grade, he was 7th and we rode the same bus. He relentlessly called me “Cheryl Big-nose” for an entire school year. I hadn’t known my nose was bigger than my peers. For years I attempted to mask my nose through make-up, began figuring out the best angle to take pictures, and then started desiring a nose job in high school. Fast forward to college. I had rhinoplasty (nose job) my senior year. When I saw my family at break (I hadn’t told them) my older sister said, “Your nose was fine until David _____ started teasing you.” My nose now fits my very small narrow face. I don’t regret changing it but it would have been so much nicer to not realize it was “big” until I was older and more self-confident (or, even better, never think this at all.)
    Incidentally, David and I ended up getting along later but he was using drugs by the end of 8th grade and became a very heavy drug user/addict (opiates) by 10th grade and dropped out of school. He is very likely court involved/jail or dead at this point. Obviously other things were going on in his world. It was such a waste of an otherwise capable, funny and likable guy who probably had no idea how much his harassment impacted my self-image and life choices. I still struggle with self-esteem related to looks and aging in my 40’s has been very challenging. It really pulls me down.

    Incidentally, I’m a middle school counselor now. I love what I do and know I’m a bit better at my job because of David.

  14. Chris says:

    I was never bulled but im studing it and I am very sorry for people that people get bulled

  15. No one says:

    Spent a good chunk of my day trying to figure out how my sudden realization that my childhood “best friend” locked me in her downstairs closet multiple times and how all her physical abuse has shaped me. She punched me and hurt me. She put me down. She intimidated me. She forced me. She twisted my arm and fingers back so many times over many years so I would do her chores without her parents knowing. She would force me into telling her that she was my best friend and then return by saying, “well, you are not mine. My best friend is so and so..,”. I tried calling home multiple times to get picked up and was stopped.

    Her mom was aware and DID NOTHING and made me feel bad for being smarter or more hard working than her daughter.

    Her 11th sleepover birthday included her covering me in my sleeping bag with an ice cold bucket of water and a laugh and punching me until I cried in front of friends. Again, I’m pretty sure her mom knew and did nothing. That is abuse. This went on for over a decade. My trust in adults was shot.

    I have spent almost 40 years digesting this. I have been diagnosed bipolar, depressed, had severe eating disorders, etc. Fortunately, I have surrounded myself with good people, and all this has stopped.

    Some of these memories have been blocked until now.

  16. […] grow up to be adults who bully, this leads to abuse within family and also in the work place. One study found that children who bully in middle school, by the age of 24 are 60% more likely to have a […]

  17. Denise C Bacher says:

    Never was bullied. Had a REALLY crappy home life (being sexually molested by 3 family members and sold by one to his friends at 9 years old – plus my mom blaming me for anything that happened to me), but NEVER EVER thought of taking it out on others.

    In fact, if I saw people being bullied ( they didn’t even have to be friends of mine), I’d stand up for them and threaten to beat the crap out the bully. They always backed down, especially the guys as they didn’t want to fight a girl. It’s good they did. I was all talk. Had no idea how to fight and would’ve got my ass handed to me. (Though I did know my two brothers – not my abusers- would’ve got revenge for me, so it would’ve been OK).

    I stood up for those kids because I could see the abject fear and sorrow in their eyes that their bullier was at it again. They looked. So lost and so wanting the ground to swallow them up. And I couldn’t let that happen. So I jumped in without any thoughts and I never regretted it.

    Not even with being called a “dyke” or other names. And not with not having even one date in school. It was worth it.

    Sadly, bullying did wind up happening in my house. Raised 5 kids, all happy and well adjusted, but my fifth was bullied when we moved to a different school district. She was popular, class president 4 years in a row, straight As, vivacious, caring and funny. But 2 months of her new school she hated school. She was shoved, spit on, sexually harassed and cyber bullied. My instinct again was to threaten to kick butts. But my daughter pleaded for me to not get involved because I would only make it worse. It was EXTREMELY hard to not do more than go off on the principal. We finally chose to just home school her.

    She did that for two years and is now back in school. New district. Has friends, is on the honor roll and she’s doing well again. Helps others and befriends every new kid. But she is not her old self. She has social anxiety. It gets a little better ever day, but it’s still there. A beautiful, popular stuck up looking girl walks by us and she is shaking. PTSD.

    So pardon me if I don’t show sympathy for people who bully someone. I had no one to talk to about my horrendous home life ( alcoholism and divorce and many other things as well as the sexual abuse), but I sure as Hell didn’t run to the closest kid who looked different to annihilate their well being.

    And neither did my daughter. She doesn’t see why anyone would WANT TO be cruel to someone else. Especially if you have a hard home life.

    So, really, just stop giving people a way to excuse away their actions. Bullies choose to hurt others just like they could choose NOT TO.

  18. Bob Harling says:

    I’ve just finished secondary school and I’ve been bullied since the beginning of year 8 till the beginning of year 13 in two different schools. In my first school, literarily two thirds of my year bullied me – even my so called friends – throughout year 8 and 9: making fun of where I was born (South Africa), my interests and how I desperately tried to fit because I didn’t want to feel neglected. Even some of the girls rubbed glue on my face while everyone made fun of my body size and started spreading some embarrassing stories from my past to different year groups. I got tormented so much that I started lying about how my dad owns a business, how I live in a big house because I didnt want to be judged for being me anymore. I didn’t even tell my parents about it. Even my so called friends ditched me when we were planning to go out.

    In the second school, I joined with one of my bullies from the old school and he started again with spreading embarrassing stories and making fun of my body which resulted in many people avoiding conversation with me even when they were friends with my new friends.

    To those who are got bullied, I feel for you, and those who are getting bullied tell someone right away even if you think it will make it worse. I made that mistake on not telling an adult and it has cost me entire high school life,

  19. FGC says:

    I was bullied also, I’m so sorry about everyone’s abuse. For those who are still being bullied, I would like to give you all advice, learn how to fight. Bullies will keep bullying you until you move away, kill yourself or something happens to them. My advice is learn how to fight. Specifically MMA. It’s a sport that gives you major amounts of confidence and it teaches you self control and most importantly self defense.


  20. Connie Hankins says:

    Social bulling us very present , I live in an invortiment were men get out of jail due to girlfriends ” in just woman ” a female is nice to them they then turn on the female , cuz one was hurtful to them thinking they could get away with it. Thank you. I am a victim of ” social bulling, with a handicap.

  21. Carol says:

    I was bullied – teased all my school years and always turned the other cheek. People always tease me. I just thought they liked me
    At the age of 65 my mind had enough and I became exhausted and had to retire early and get counseling till I found out why.
    Teasing and Bulling.

  22. Kay leigh says:

    I was bullied throughout all my school years. I had a horrible upbringing and ended up in care so there’s no excuse that bullies have had bad upbringings and turn into one. That’s a load of bull. I don’t see why anyone would want to make another persons life miserable just because their own life is. There is absolutely no excuse for bullying. I ended up at one school when I was 14 and I was severely bullied by 4 girls and at one point they pulled knives on me, punched and kicked me and recorded it. Teachers did nothing. I attempted to end my life and still nothing. I did report it to the police who arrested and charged all 4 girls who were aged between 14-16. I soon left that school and several years later one of those bullies added me on social media and said hi do u remember me? I was like woahh is this girl for real!? So I messaged back saying I’m confused by why you’ve added me and she asked what do I u mean? So I relayed what she and her friends had done to me all those years ago. Her reply…. Ohh yeah I forgot about that I’m so sorry, I actually hate bullies now, I don’t know why I did that.
    I got an apology which is more than what some people get but she said she forgot… I certainly didn’t forget and haven’t forgotten and that was 10 years ago now.
    That’s just one of the bullying incidents that’s etched in my memory probably for the rest of my life.
    I have zero sympathy for bullies.

  23. […] ways, a brag is also a victim. People who do not learn to control their assertive tendencies are 60 percent some-more expected to finish adult in jail or with a poignant rapist story and during higher risk for piece abuse, depression, stress and […]

  24. […] the bully is also a victim. People who do not learn to control their aggressive tendencies are 60 percent more likely to end up in jail or with a significant criminal history and at higher risk for substance abuse, depression, anxiety […]

  25. kaylee says:

    I feel horrible for the people that are getting bullied and not doing anything about or the people around them I think that if someone seeing someone getting bullied should stick for that person instead of just watching or walking bye acting like its nothing bulling is something because when it happen it hurts people and its not fun.

    PS. help someone before its to late!

  26. Elena says:

    This is so sad, all the answer I read. Its interesting, and frightening, and worthy to study about. I grow up in a communist country, which now is not anymore a communist country. We never bully, we were never bullied. I never know what is that. Now is different, start to be bad as I heard.

    Where are the parents, where are the educators????????????????????????? Is strange.

  27. briannah becker says:

    along with my sister, i am bullied by the same person. got to the point where during lunch the girl punched my sister and i jumped in. the school has the whole thing on video and yet only suspended her for 1 day and now along with my sister we have to sit in the office as the girl gets to rome the halls freely and do as she pleases. when i asked the school board the reason why they only decided to suspend her for one day theyre reasoning was. “she is a top soccer player, we cant risk to lose her for more then a day” wouldnt you want to suspend her for even longer considering she is on the soccer team and is supposed to be representing our school wouldnt you want a better student. wouldnt you want her to learn her lesson? the school has done nothing to prevent her from messing with us in the hall. Bullying is not okay but no one seems to care. the teachers were even laughing about it in the hall along with students. this only happened a few days ago and it still haunts me.

  28. Judith says:

    It is possible to try to see that a bully may be a child or an adult who is acting out of pain and to really try to have compassion for that person without condoning or tolerating the behavior.
    People are not just good/bad, victim/aggressor, etc…. People are complex and are a combination of light and shadow. Being a bully does not make one a bad person in every way any more than being bullied makes any of us heroes.
    Embracing tolerance means remembering that we are all human. Talking about what anyone deserves is a slippery slope in that if any one of really got all we “deserve” we might not be so happy either.

  29. Christopher says:

    Bullies never change, they just get older!

  30. An says:

    My story is similar to yours.I was bullied throughout school things change when I got to college I became popular for a year and half then depression kicked in,I was worried ppl would see me for what I really am.so I messed up I started avoiding people until I became a socialist cast.it hurts so much to see a bully become successful,i don’t think any bully deserves success in life except if they are truly repentant…imagine how horrible the world woulf be with success in hand,lots of people would be victim to suicide,severe depression with successful bully all around.The world would get so rottenthan it was before.I don’t wish bullied well I have finally a BMdmitted that now after several years of convincing myself it is the right feeling to feel
    I love victim success stories like yours.funnything when you meet this bully they act like nothing happened and try to smile with you..They all swear it was a high school thing…Or they try to tell you they were too young.i was also young but I knew it was wrong,for God sake they were not five.i have never bullied anyone in my life because the act revolts me. Bullying can have a lasting effects

  31. Mike says:

    I was bullied at school too, and it left a mental scar that lasted all my working life, so when my elder daughter told me she was being pushed around by another girl in her junior school, I tutored her on how to put a stop to it. “When she touches you physically in a way you don’t like, hit her. She may work you over afterwards, but she’ll never do it again.” I had her hit me to practice, and impressed on her that it had to be a really good, hard clout.
    It was only a couple of days later that it came to a head. She followed instruction to the letter, and the other girl didn’t work her over – she cried and took the next day off school. I was called to the school to discuss “your daughter” – but she was left alone after that, and the impression left by that one incident went with her right through high school – she was known as somebody not to mess with.
    The other girl (the bully) turned into a stunningly good looking girl, and was making a success of her life last time I heard.

  32. Maryam says:

    I think most school bullies will not change unless something terrible happens in their adult life that causes them emotional pain or embarrassment.

    At school, I was called many obnoxious names- such as “worthless turd””, “dirty wog” (I was clean and showered every day), “nerd”, “dag””, “embarrassment to your country”, etc. Furthermore, many students actually never bothered to say a simple “Hello” to me in the 6-12 years of schooling we shared.

    Sometimes their bullying never ceases! At my school reunion, somebody spread slander that I was schizophrenic and that the police were looking for me because I ran away from home (a friend who attended the school reunion had informed me).

    I hate it when, inevitably, school bullies or people who had deliberately avoided speaking to me at school would turn up to my workplace and ask me constant intrusive questions. They have some nerve! I am not in the SLIGHTEST bit interested in hearing them boast, or in providing them information to talk about or gossip. I am BUSY at work and don’t want to speak to people feel no shame in having been utter jerks to me.

  33. Anne says:

    I am still recovering from scars from bullies. I was bullied by girls and boys verbally and emotionally. One of the guy bullies called me ugly and unattractive and laughed when I was crying. The guy that was bullying me was expelled from school because of a situation so he didn’t graduate with me. Being called ugly still affects me to this day because I still feel unattractive, and I have a difficult time when people take photos because I hate the way I look in pictures. I have read lots of bullying stories, and I wonder why former bullies were bullies and if they feel remorse. Bullies really should apologize to their victims even if the victim is cruel to them or says some things to them that are painful.

  34. Michelle says:

    I’m being bullied by a 60+ year old! She’s so nasty! She physically grabbed hold of my arm and embarrassed me in front of the public. She punched the table in front of my little girl who was frightened to death! I’ve never been so humiliated in all my life! She likes to think she knows it all but I’d rather take advice from a chimp then a know it all! I’ve decided to move away from her, I never want to set eyes on her again for as long as I live! She’s a bully who only targets those who are on their own. My little girl is my heart and soul but the bully says she’s better off in care, away from me, this bully hates me, if she had a knife, I think she would kill me, I can’t wait to get a way from her for good! She is evil!

  35. Anonymous says:

    I was bullied by this boy who was in my class last year and he bullied me the whole year and then this year he bullied me for only a week then stopped and now blushes when he sees me, but he bullies other people too so I wont like him back. My friends were with him since pre-k and he bullied them ever since so I know he would end up no where in life

  36. T says:

    Every now and a then I think of one of the worst bullies I had to deal with. It was middle school and these brothers were so nasty throwing me in the canals and etc. Now that I am all grown up I thought it was all in the past. Then one day my spouse is approached by someone to buy her business. I am like ok go to the meeting. After she came back I asked her about it. Long story short it was the worst bully ever I had to deal with. I told her about how he was and I am not sure if people like that change and it kinda makes me uneasy. So she confronted him and he said he isn’t like that anymore and doesn’t even remember. But I sure do. What’s even better is you usually see bullies on tv as losers or corporate executives. Not as a Doctor. The worst part of it is my wife accepted the offer and now I have to deal with this guy the rest of my life in a non negative manner in person because now he is going to be my wife’s employer. Hopefully he has changed. But deep down it really sucks and kinda hurts. Your bully moves on with life and excels. My grades dropped from bullying and became over anxious that I can’t even deal with regular confrontation without shaking. So social fearful that I am unable to overcome the handicaps that I developed from bullying such as anxiety and depression. The only way I found that I can be functional around people is to be on drugs and it sucks. Take a pill for sleep, depression, anxiety and etc.

  37. susan says:

    I would like to start a movement ….similar to outing people with a past of sexual harassment…..out those who have been bullies in the past (especially in elementary….junior high and high school). think its about time these people have their behavior known when they enter the workforce and as adults in society….anyone agree?

    • Mari says:

      Thats kind of draconian, but I think they should be dealth with right than and there. No need to destroy every chance they get later in life.

  38. Bob Matzel says:

    Here’s an example of bullying:

    A teacher uses his size advantage to make kids do what he wants. He’s 6 foot 3, and can easily force a short kid into a seat, away from the door, etc. But what if the kid is 5 foot 8 and heavy? He can’t forcibly move that kid around, except by using a judo move which could injure the kid. So what should he do, let the kid get away with it because the kid is too big to restrain?

    If you’re taking advantage of the size difference, that’s bullying.

  39. Cherie says:

    I know exactly how you all feel as I was severely and relentlessly bullied in a small Tennessee town from grade 6 until I finally changed schools during my last year. It got so bad that I attempted to take my own life at the age of 14 and spent a week in ICU. I almost didn’t make it! I wasn’t only bullied by one certain group of popular kids. No. I was bullied by everyone, for everything. I had to scratch and claw my way to a high school diploma but I never quit! It always amazes me when people tell victims of bullying to “toughen up” because to endure such treatment and still find the resolve to get a high school diploma and never drop out? That takes balls of steel! Victims of bullying are already tough! They have to be, otherwise, they wouldn’t survive!

    Now, I am a happy and confident adult and I use the bullying I once endured to help others who go through the same today. I am an advocate/activist for bullied children and teens and I’ve written a book about my own experiences not only to tell my story but to provide encouragement to young victims. I want them to know that suicide isn’t necessary and if they give themselves a chance, things do eventually get better…much better!


  40. Charlie Gorden says:

    Many people with Learning Disabilities and or ADHD are often targeted by bullies because they haven’t learned social skills and don’t display confidence. Bullies look for people who are socially awkward or lack confidence and not willing to be assertive or aggressive. I found this out after many years of being bullied from Junior High throughout my work life. My parents also thought I should learn to fight. But, but I found out that not being a great fighter wasn’t the main problem for me it was My social skills and confidence. No matter how good of a fighter you are you will still be targeted by bullies if you don’t learn to display confidence and social skills first.

Leave a Reply to sue Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *